You know your day is going to be rough when your baby looks like this at the breakfast table. Our time here as been absolutely amazing with many joys, emotional ups and downs, frustrations, wonderment, confusion, stresses, sicknesses, incredible sights, huge God moments, and spiritual challenges. It is such a mix that I can not even begin to sort out my feelings about it all. One thing that I have to express is the incredible struggle we have had with sickness this year. I don't think I have ever experienced so many "mommy, I am not feeling good," days in my life in such a short amount of time.
This morning I woke up without much of a voice and feeling crummy. While trying to get the rest of the kids up and ready for school, Cam was trying frantically to get into our car! The automatic key lock would not work. It set the car alarm off and he couldn't get it turned off. Every button he pushed would get no response. Finally, it shut off automatically but there was no way he could open the doors because the car was armed. So, he ended up calling a co-worker to come pick him up to take him to work. Thankfully, she hadn't left for work yet. This all happened as Elise was steadily feeling sicker and finally threw up as Cam walked out the door and the other kids needed to get to school. So, I was left to send my kiddos to walk to school on their own while I cleaned up and tried to sort the morning right side up again. LOL! I don't even know what to say...and this is just a glimpse of one of the many days that have come our way.
So, what have I learned through these moments? That our Father in Heaven continues to BE even in the moments when it looks like chaos reigns. He still IS when I can't feel, sense, or see that He is. My faith has been strengthen more by the history of what I have known to be true in Who He is from past experiences. This has carried me through the times when I can't sense that He loves or cares for me. And to ride in these moments by letting myself rest in His love and trust that the cosmic battle that is raging here will be subdued by following His lead.
Oh Iva.....we miss you all. It's good that you can share through this blog, not only as a diary of your exchange, but a time to share your heart. You are really living there with all it's ups and downs. I can see how God is growing you, some you will understand now and others that will become clearer over time. Thank you for sharing from your heart. I am so happy you had your best friend come and visit! Love you
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